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Quote Author Rating Rate
"An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows." Dwight Eisenhower 4.4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane." M. Grundler 4.375 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." Groucho Marx 4.323529411764706 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls." Rita Mae Brown 4.3076923076923075 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I had a dream the other night. I dreamed that Jimmy Carter came to me and asked why I wanted his job. I told him I didn't want his job. I want to be President." Ronald Reagan 4.275862068965517 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Nothing is wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure." Kenneth Millar 4.166666666666667 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If you are resolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half done already." Abraham Lincoln 4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us." Laurence Peter 4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check." Dan Quayle 4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course." George Bernard Shaw 4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious." Bill Maher 3.9411764705882355 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people. Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded." John McCain 3.923076923076923 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I love Thanksgiving. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts." Arnold Schwarzenegger 3.8947368421052633 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Thus far, the reputed idiot Bush has graduated from Yale and Harvard, made a stack of cash in the oil industry, become the first consecutive-term governor of Texas, defeated a dual-term VP for the presidency, and led his party to [November 5th's] extraordinary triumphs. Let his opponents keep calling him stupid; if they do, within five years Bush will be King of England, the Pope, and world Formula One motor racing champion." Tim Blair 3.5625 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I'm number 10 at the box office. Right under Barbra Streisand. Can you imagine being under Barbra Streisand? Get me a bag. I may throw up." Walter Matthau 3.5555555555555554 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit." Rush Limbaugh 3.473684210526316 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.'" George W. Bush 3.156862745098039 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand." Saul Bellow 3 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable." Fran Lebowitz 2.5 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote


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Browse Clever Jabs quotes by Author:
Abraham Lincoln Adlai Stevenson Arnold Schwarzenegger
Bill Maher Dan Quayle Dorothy Parker
Dwight Eisenhower Fran Lebowitz Fred Allen
George Bernard Shaw George Eliot George W. Bush
Groucho Marx Henry Ford Henry Kissinger
Hunter S. Thompson Jack Nicholson Jay Leno
John McCain Kenneth Millar Laurence Peter
M. Grundler Marcel Proust Margaret Thatcher
Mark Twain Muhammad Ali Oliver Wendell Holmes
Oscar Levant Oscar Wilde Rita Mae Brown
Robin Williams Ronald Reagan Rush Limbaugh
Saul Bellow Tim Blair Walter Matthau
Will Rogers William F. Buckley William Shakespeare
Winston Churchill  













 
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