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Quote Author Rating Rate
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Steve Martin 4.904761904761905 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch." Woody Allen 4.9 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work." Steve Martin 4.875 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin 4.83768115942029 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right." Mark Twain 4.818181818181818 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read." Groucho Marx 4.805194805194805 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die." Mel Brooks 4.787878787878788 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws." Douglas Adams 4.782608695652174 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schulz 4.780487804878049 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others." Groucho Marx 4.7727272727272725 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by." Douglas Adams 4.756410256410256 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them that I have the heart of a small boy...and I keep it in a jar on my desk." Stephen King 4.75 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people." Orson Welles 4.75 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I'm at an age where I think more about food than sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table." Rodney Dangerfield 4.75 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis." Douglas Adams 4.7272727272727275 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain 4.6875 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." George Burns 4.684210526315789 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying." Woody Allen 4.647058823529412 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra." Fran Lebowitz 4.625 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands." Douglas Adams 4.575757575757576 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote


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