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Quote	Rating	Rate
"What I just said is the fundamental, end-all, final, not-subject-to-opinion absolute truth, depending on where you're standing."
"Stand-up comedy is transient. History shows that you can stand up for so long; after that, you're asked to sit down."
"Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's out of town."
"All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work."
"First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."
"Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!"
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

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