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Quote DB :: Authors :: Woody Allen	Rate this Author:

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Groups: Comedians

Woody Allen

Quotes: (ranking: 620th)
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Quote	Category	Rating
"When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back."	Comedy, Morality
"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."	Atheism
"There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?"	Miscellaneous
"The good thing about being bisexual is that it doubles your chance of a date on a Saturday night."
"The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more."	Morality
"The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you."
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good."
"Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman."
"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."	Love
"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."
"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down."	Life & Death
"Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday."	God
"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."	Miscellaneous
"More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly."	Miscellaneous
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."	Money
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
"Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no."
"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."	Comedy
"I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."	Life & Death
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."	Science

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