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:: Woody Allen
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Comedians
Woody Allen
Quotes: (ranking: 620th)
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Woody Allen's quotes
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"It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better, while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more."
Morality
"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."
Comedy
"It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune."
Life & Death
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy."
Comedy
"I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's."
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."
Comedy
"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
"Eighty percent of success is showing up."
Life & Death
"Don't knock masturbation; it's sex with someone I love."
"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."
Comedy
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Marriage
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