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Quote DB :: Authors :: Woody Allen	Rate this Author:

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Groups: Comedians

Woody Allen

Quotes: (ranking: 620th)
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Quote	Category	Rating
"There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?"	Miscellaneous
"Eighty percent of success is showing up."	Life & Death
"I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."	Life & Death
"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."	Miscellaneous
"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."	Comedy
"More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly."	Miscellaneous
"Don't knock masturbation; it's sex with someone I love."
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."	Comedy
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."	Money
"Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman."
"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."	Comedy, Marriage
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good."
"I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's."
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
"Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no."
"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."
"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
"The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more."	Morality
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy."	Comedy
"When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back."	Comedy, Morality

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