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:: Woody Allen
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Quote Rating Average (89%)
Author Rating (71%)
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Comedians
Woody Allen
Quotes: (ranking: 620th)
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Woody Allen's quotes
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"It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better, while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more."
Morality
"Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday."
God
"The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you."
"To
you
I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
Atheism
"It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune."
Life & Death
"The good thing about being bisexual is that it doubles your chance of a date on a Saturday night."
"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."
Comedy
"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."
Love
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."
Science
"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down."
Life & Death
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