» Add Quotes to Your Site - Quote Generator Add Quotes to Your Site - Quote Generator
add quote of the day, random quotes or by topic (e.g. funny quotes)

Quote DB :: Comedy :: Clever Jabs Search in this category


Quote Author Rating Rate
"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there." Fred Allen 4.75 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." Fred Allen 4.928571428571429 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I love Thanksgiving. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts." Arnold Schwarzenegger 3.8947368421052633 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." Winston Churchill 4.806451612903226 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." Groucho Marx 4.323529411764706 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.'" Oscar Levant 4.666666666666667 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your intelligence." William F. Buckley 4.777777777777778 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member." Groucho Marx 4.740259740259741 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check." Dan Quayle 4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised." Dorothy Parker 4.9411764705882355 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim." Margaret Thatcher 4.666666666666667 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If you are resolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half done already." Abraham Lincoln 4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is." Oscar Wilde 4.523809523809524 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane." M. Grundler 4.375 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I'm number 10 at the box office. Right under Barbra Streisand. Can you imagine being under Barbra Streisand? Get me a bag. I may throw up." Walter Matthau 3.5555555555555554 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." Groucho Marx 4.882352941176471 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won." Muhammad Ali 4.862068965517241 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious." Bill Maher 3.9411764705882355 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it." Mark Twain 4.666666666666667 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Like many intellectuals, he was incapable of saying a simple thing in a simple way." Marcel Proust 4.461538461538462 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote


<< Previous 1 2 3 Next >>


Browse Clever Jabs quotes by Author:
Abraham Lincoln Adlai Stevenson Arnold Schwarzenegger
Bill Maher Dan Quayle Dorothy Parker
Dwight Eisenhower Fran Lebowitz Fred Allen
George Bernard Shaw George Eliot George W. Bush
Groucho Marx Henry Ford Henry Kissinger
Hunter S. Thompson Jack Nicholson Jay Leno
John McCain Kenneth Millar Laurence Peter
M. Grundler Marcel Proust Margaret Thatcher
Mark Twain Muhammad Ali Oliver Wendell Holmes
Oscar Levant Oscar Wilde Rita Mae Brown
Robin Williams Ronald Reagan Rush Limbaugh
Saul Bellow Tim Blair Walter Matthau
Will Rogers William F. Buckley William Shakespeare
Winston Churchill  













 
| privacy