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Mark Twain

Quotes: (ranking: 620th)
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Quote	Category	Rating
"Familiarity breeds contempt - and children."
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."	Age
"Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages."	Age
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."	Age
"Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow."	Age, Sleep
"It is by the goodness of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either."	America
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."	Anger
"When angry count to four; when very angry, swear."	Anger
"I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey."	Animals, Anti-God
"Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it."	Children, Intelligence
"A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother."	Children
"It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."	Christianity
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."	Clever Jabs
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."	Clever Jabs
"Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress...but I repeat myself."	Clever Jabs
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."	Clever Jabs
"Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it."	Clever Jabs
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times."	Comedy
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."	Comedy

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