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"We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove."
"Etiquette requires us to admire the human race."
"There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice."
"It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."
"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."
"Sacred cows make the best hamburger."
"Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect."
"When the human race has once acquired a supersitition nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it."
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth."
"Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired."
"With ignorance and arrogance, success is assured."
"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist."
"Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to."
"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
"I can live for two months on a good compliment."
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."

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