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"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist."
"When the human race has once acquired a supersitition nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it."
"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth."
"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect."
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
"Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often."
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."
"Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired."
"Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to."
"With ignorance and arrogance, success is assured."
"Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody."
"There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice."
"Sacred cows make the best hamburger."
"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
"Etiquette requires us to admire the human race."
"It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."
"I can live for two months on a good compliment."

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