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"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."
"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy."
"When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back."
"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."

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