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"I'm at an age where I think more about food than sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table."
"I just finished my first book. Pretty soon, I'm gonna read another."
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
"I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know."

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