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"I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know."
"I just finished my first book. Pretty soon, I'm gonna read another."
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
"I'm at an age where I think more about food than sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table."

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