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Quote Author Rating Rate
"Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Santa Claus." Bart Simpson 4.3076923076923075 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England." Homer Simpson 4.71875 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Haven't you learned anything from that guy that gives those sermons in church? Captain What's-his-name. We live in a society of laws, why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Vroom! Beep! Honk! Honk! Ha-ha. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze!" Homer Simpson 4.666666666666667 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'" Homer Simpson 4.655172413793103 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?" Homer Simpson 4.730769230769231 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"If he's so smart, how come he's dead?" Homer Simpson 4.633333333333334 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon! What was his name? Apollo Creed?" Homer Simpson 4.235294117647059 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!" Homer Simpson 4.483870967741935 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I'm not popular enough to be different." Homer Simpson 3.75 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"I've got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky & The Pope combined!" Homer Simpson 3 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening." Homer Simpson 4.071428571428571 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk." Homer Simpson 4.294117647058823 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively." Homer Simpson 4 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed." Homer Simpson 4.142857142857143 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Oh, man, what a day. It's no cakewalk being a single parent, juggling a career and family like so many juggling balls... two, I suppose." Chief Wiggum 3.3333333333333335 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use." Homer Simpson 4.72 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless." Chief Wiggum 4.476190476190476 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"She didn't reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police! Now where did I put my badge?...Hey, that duck's got it!" Chief Wiggum 3 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!" Homer Simpson 4.25 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote
"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel." Homer Simpson 4.7560975609756095 avg (0 votes) Rate this Quote


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