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"Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless." -
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Top 5 quotes from Chief Wiggum
"What IS your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries?"
"Oh, man, what a day. It's no cakewalk being a single parent, juggling a career and family like so many juggling balls... two, I suppose."
"She didn't reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police! Now where did I put my badge?...Hey, that duck's got it!"
Top 5 quotes from The Simpsons
"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel."
"If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?"
"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."
"English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."
"Haven't you learned anything from that guy that gives those sermons in church? Captain What's-his-name. We live in a society of laws, why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Vroom! Beep! Honk! Honk! Ha-ha. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze!"
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