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Dorothy Parker
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"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."
"Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants."
"Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."
"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more."
"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."
"They sicken of the calm who know the storm."
"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."
"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks."
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