clever-jabs Quotes. clever-jabs Quotations Interactive Database.

Add Quotes to Your Site - Quote Generator
add quote of the day, random quotes or by topic (e.g. funny quotes)

Quote DB :: Comedy :: Clever Jabs Search in this category

Quote	Author	Rating	Rate
"I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member."	Groucho Marx
"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."	Hunter S. Thompson
"Like many intellectuals, he was incapable of saying a simple thing in a simple way."	Marcel Proust
"Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course."	George Bernard Shaw
"Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it."	Mark Twain
"I had a dream the other night. I dreamed that Jimmy Carter came to me and asked why I wanted his job. I told him I didn't want his job. I want to be President."	Ronald Reagan
"If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check."	Dan Quayle
"This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read."	Winston Churchill
"Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.'"	George W. Bush
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."	Mark Twain
"Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress...but I repeat myself."	Mark Twain
"Nothing is wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure."	Kenneth Millar
"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane."	M. Grundler
"The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back."	Will Rogers
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."	Jack Nicholson
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."	Jay Leno
"I'm number 10 at the box office. Right under Barbra Streisand. Can you imagine being under Barbra Streisand? Get me a bag. I may throw up."	Walter Matthau
"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there."	Fred Allen
"He is a very modest man with a great deal to be modest about."	Winston Churchill
"You may have genius. The contrary is, of course, probable."	Oliver Wendell Holmes

1 2 3 Next >>

Share this page:

More To Explore

Contact & About

- Get a Quote
  
  in your email every day!
  
  We respect your privacy.
  You can unsubscribe at any time.